5 Simple Tools to Increase your Resilience and BounceBackAbility
Resilience A proactive activity, building up your ability to not over react or go under when a potentially stressful situation arises. Knowing that S*** happens but you are confident that you will handle it.
BounceBackAbility A reactive activity enabling you to recover from a stressful situation. S*** has already happened and you are in the process of recovering.
Here are some tried and tested tips to help you build or increase your Resilience and BounceBackAbility:
1. Take Responsibility – The event/circumstances may not have been of your choice or your doing but how you choose to react certainly is. It’s happened and it’s yours to deal with. Acceptance is key, concentrate on what you can do something about – your Circle of Influence (Stephen Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) and accept what you can’t do anything about – your circle of Concern.
If you have been in a disagreement, look at what you have influence over and how you can expand that and let go of those things that really bug you but you can’t do anything about them. Check in and see if you are playing the blame game.
2. Attitude of Gratitude – It’s easy to focus on what has gone wrong, what shouldn’t have happened, who’s to blame. Reframe, instead of it being a tragedy, could it be a learning opportunity even if somewhat painful? You’ve argued with your partner/children – instead of thinking all those negative thoughts about them, think of 5 positive things about them. This is guaranteed to make you smile or at least stop crying!
I recommend to all my clients that they start a Gratitude Journal. Write down 5 things they are grateful for each night, small things that we take for granted. When you are feeling in lower self or in need of a boost, just open it up and start reading. I always start the Self Development Group of with the Attitude of Gratitude, over time it becomes a habit to think of the positives rather than the negatives.
3. Ask and Receive – Something I am learning to do, it feels uncomfortable to ask for help, my ego kicks in with ‘I’m a strong independent woman, I don’t need anyone!’, but we can’t function in isolation whether it’s running a business, recovering from illness or living on our own – I’m finding the more times I ask for and receive help the easier it gets. I am stretching my comfort zone and realising that people really do like to feel useful during challenging times. And don’t take it to heart if you ask and they take time to respond, they have a life too. Try it out; ask for something small, a phone call, feedback on a new idea.
4. Small Steps – Don’t rush it, whether it’s adding a new service to your portfolio or recovering from an illness. You are more likely to jump into your panic zone if you take on too much and the result is you will end up bouncing back into your comfort zone, which may shrunk!
5. What are you Saying? - Watch your language! What are you telling yourself? Your self talk is you communicating with your subconscious and it will try and make you right. If you’ve had a set back are you telling yourself ‘I’m rubbish and a failure’ or ‘I learn from all my experiences’?
6. Healthy Body, Healthy Mind – What are you eating and drinking? Listen to your body. Lie still, take 5 deep breaths and ask the question ‘what do I need to do be doing to increase my strength?’ Go with whatever pops into your head! It really is that easy!
Be aware of those habits you’ve acquired through many years of stress – take a rain check on what your drinking habits. Is it the norm now to drink most days? has that 1 glass of wine with your evening meal progressed to finishing the bottle?
I would love to hear from you on any of the points above or find out how you build up and maintain your resilience and bouncebackability. Email me firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S. There’s a special Christmas offer which expires on the 15th December 2016 – Save £55 on January’s workshop.
P.P.S. or come along and find out more at our Self Development Group meeting 7-9pm Monday 9th January